Case History 1: Extinction of Wooly Mammoths leads to The End of Mankind!

It’s the End of Mankind! Like…Totally!

The time is 8,000 years BC. That’s Before Christ, for all you illiterates out there. Before Common Era hasn’t been invented yet. After all, there are’t enough humans on earth for them to be considered common.

end of man

Who, me?

At any rate, it has come to the attention of the stone chiselers and cave painters that everybody is getting hungry. A few people saw this coming, for new methods of hunting have brought us to this squandered world. And what is this new method of hunting?

The new method is to hide behind the brush when those big elephant things with fur coats are coming up the trail. When the time is ripe, one simply jumps out and screams as loud as they can. At that point, the big gargantuan things get real scared and run off the cliff.

Funny, things as humungous as that being scared, and especially of us puny, little cave dwellers. But they do get scared, and once they panic, the whole herd goes off the side of the cliff. Man, it is a sight to see, fifty or sixty of those giant long nosers all clumped in a mess at the bottom of a cliff.

Of course, therein lies the problem, for you only need to kill one for the tribe to eat for a year. And, at one a year, the big tuskers guys ought to last thousands of years. Maybe even a millennium!

So the hunters slice off a few steaks, and try to get far enough away to eat them before the stink sets in. And the stink does set in! Wooo…it’s as bad as forty striped kitty cats fighting in a squat pit!

Anyway, the big furry supermooses, or whatever they are, are all gone, and that means we have to be all gone. Farming hasn’t been invented yet, and it looks like everybody has to head north, maybe cross that ice bridge and find a new world if they want to survive. Who knows, maybe we’ll find some of those noseless hippos in the new world, and we can do it all over again.

Fortunately, things like the Sierra club and Green peace haven’t been invented yet, so nobody is going to get arrested. Well, time to pack up and go. See you in America.


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