Hillary Plans a Bang Up Holiday!
It is rumored that Hillary Clinton is making big plans to celebrate National Masturbation Day!
Supposedly, this will include a parade, a big meeting in Central Park, and, of course, a few moments alone.
The Democratic Party, headed by Debbie Wasserman Schultz is apparently behind this unique holiday, encouraging party members everywhere to enjoy themselves.
National Masturbation Day is scheduled for May 7th, or/and also, May 28th. Whether one celebrates both days depends on one’s own personal level of testosterone or estrogen.
National Masturbation Day was originally declared in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders.
There is an irony here, as SG Jocelyn was fired by Bill Clinton, who was almost fired by Hillary for his affair with Monica Lewenski.
Thus, SG Jocelyn is responsible for a day which Hillary can celebrate without Bill.
Talk about your weird justice.
Final arrangements for the day, including where, when, and how much (charging for masturbation?) will be released in the near future.
But one does not need to wait to begin the festivities; any individual may begin foreplay at any time.
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About the Author: Al Case gives good satire. He also gives good books. Read The Bomber’s Story and find out who owns planet earth!